I may have been
an unlucky sister

I have no words to write,
no special thoughts to think about.
But if you happen to open this blog,
this very page,
whether I am still alive or dead,
please know that
whatever happened between us,
whatever you may have thought of me
all your life,
I respect you and love you.

You were the first person I learned math and English from,
you were the first person who make me start
to love English,
you were the first person who taught me
how to be thrifty by your example.

You were the first who said to our mom
that she had a golden womb
right after I had my inauguration.
Don't you know how much your words
meant to me

Though we haven't talked with each other for so long,
that I don't remember since when,
and that maybe you have never expected
to talk to me anymore all your life,
I almost always have dreams about you
in my sleep,
nice dreams where I can see us
play together, go places together
or just sit at the same table,
doing nothing together

Yes, I love those dreams
and always feel happy when I wake up
thinking of you.

If I had not harmed you,
and yet you think I had,
it's beyond my ability to convince you.
You have your every right
to think of what you think is right or wrong

But if I ever made mistakes, please know
I had never meant to hurt you on purpose.
I had never wanted you to get harmed
out of anything I did that didn't please you.

If you think I had,
I know I also don't even insist that you forgive me.
Let our karma reveal its fruits.

Whether you like it or not,
I will keep all the best
as well as the worst moments of our lives.
I am happy I once "had" you
as my biological brother
I am thankful for all the things I learned from you

They will always stay precious to me.

I wish you good luck,
good health, good wealth,
good friends,
abundance of love and care
and lots of happiness

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photos more precious to me now


I never thought my only biological brother
had never cared for and loved me


If only there was a time machine
that could bring back all I had with him,
I would want to buy it
to get all the fun back


He had a good sense of humor,
used to tell me funny stories
that made me laugh out loud
and think how funny but
clever my brother was!


We grew up together
and I learned that he had
a good sense of humor,
and used to share riddles
most of which I could not answer
and just gave up.

I loved him
(and frankly, still do, no less)

May he be free from
physical and mental suffering
May he and his family stay well and happy